Jess-No-Limit visits P Diddy in prison for dating advice

On a fine Tuesday night, the Indonesian Gaming Youtuber Jess-No-Limit decided to fly to the US to visit Rapper P Diddy in Prison.

During his stay, Jess-No-Limit sat down with P Diddy for a conversation. One of the Trowulan journalists was lucky enough to sneak into prison as a guard and record their conversation.

Disclaimer: This was extremely easy to do because our journalist had to gain weight of over 300 pounds and grow out a mustache.

Jess-No-Limit: Hello, P Diddy. Nice to meet you

P Diddy: Do I know you? If this is another butt inspection, I’m telling you the only thing I have in my butt is love. There ain’t no drugs in here, whatever the rumors say, it ain’t true.

Jess-No-Limit: I am a YouTuber from Indonesia. I make gaming content, mainly focusing on playing Mobile Legends only briefly, putting in just about 20 hours total.

P Diddy: Shit, are you married?

Jess-No-Limit: Yes, and we are blessed with one child. They love me dearly.

P Diddy: Alright, hold on. How do you make them stay with your goofy ass? You sound like you play too much.

Jess-No-Limit: I give them the affection I learned from Mobile Legends.

P Diddy: okay why the fuck are you here then wasting my time?

Jess-No-Limit: I don’t mean to offend, but my wife likes to kiss 600$ cow piss-infused ice cream, and I am bored; I came here to ask you for dating advice.

P Diddy: Alright, hold on, you got any experience before her?

Jess-No-Limit: Yeah, she was 14 years old, and I was 23. We met in Mobile Legends.

P Diddy: Man, this is why you sinkin’. You gotta get ‘em when they start walking, and the only thing in their heads is eating batteries. If she can count to ten, she doesn’t go to the pen. Ya feel me? We all got love to share, and I know how. That’s why they call me Love. ya gotta pick smart.

Jess-No-Limit: Wow. Thank you so much Mr Diddy. I will surely follow this amazing advice. What can I do for you in return?

P Diddy: Well i got extra time, so what you can do for me is ███████████████, and I want you to ███████████ then show me your ████████.

From here on, Jess-No-Limit nods in agreement. The next day, he returned to Indonesia.

(Disclaimer: PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO BREAK INTO PRISON WITHOUT PARENTAL GUIDANCE. We had to put our journalist into a psych ward after this interview.)