President Prabowo to create new agency dedicated to reject foreign aid
The newly created "National Aid Repellant Agency" to be headed by Raffi Ahmad.
JAKARTA - Overwhelmed with writing letters on the napkins available on his dining table, President Prabowo Subianto plans to delegate the task of rejecting foreign aid to a new and fresh government agency. “The situation in Sumatra is very much under control, and we can handle this ourselves. The broken houses are under control, the non-functional streets and bridges are under control, and the starving is also under control”, Prabowo said in a primetime televised address, while announcing the formation of the new agency. “The agency will be dedicated to solely writing polite rejection letters for foreign countries that offer relief aid to the Sumatra cyclone victims. “There are so many of them! They keep sending us aid after aid. This is very bad publicity for me.”
The agency will be named National Aid Repellant Agency, headed by Raffi Ahmad with the official title of Deputy Head for Apology Tone Calibration. “We will have an internal department assigned to select which envelope to use. We are still working on the workflow of approving each rejection letter before it is delivered to the ambassador of each respective nation”. He also mentioned that receiving aid is a national security threat. “In the future, this agency will also serve to abolish foreign investment in local startups, and to reject foreign scholarships offered to Indonesian students, on their behalf. That is an insult to how well we managed our tax reliefs and education budget”, he says while enjoying a buffet at the agency inauguration.